De-Stress Your Mess
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Mr. Biz Radio: De-Stress Your Mess!
Unedited transcription of the show is included below:
(00:03):
Welcome to Mr. Biz Radio! Biz Talk for Biz Owners. During the next half hour, Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth, a leading business advisor, and two-time best-selling author will cover topics that'll help business owners run their companies more profitably and more efficiently. If you're ready to stop faking the funk and take your business onward and upward. This show is for you. And now here's Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth.
(00:28):
All right. Welcome to another
(00:29):
Episode of Mr. Biz, right here with me, Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth. And this week, we're gonna talk about a topic that impacts each and every one of us. And I can say that very confidently, because whether you are a business owner, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're a entrepreneur, right, you want to be an entrepreneur, but you haven't taken leap yet. Whether you work, I have a corporate career whether you're a stay at home, mom, dad whether you are a lumped that lays under her couch every day, doesn't matter, you are impacted by what we were gonna talk about today. And that is stress we have with us this week, an expert in the, in the, on the topic. And he's gonna teach us how in the third segment, how we can de-stress he's gonna give us some techniques. Now you may be wondering, okay, great.
(01:20):
A lot of people talk about stress. And a lot of people think they're experts in stress. Well, let me, let me give you, let me give you a little bit of an intro of our guest this week. And you tell me if he could teach us about stress and how to de-stres Mr. Glenwilliams spent 26 years in law enforcement working as a patrol officer, detective and trainer. Now doesn't get a lot more stressful than that job, right? So 26 years of this, he has to have learned a lot from that, right? Otherwise he would never survived. 26 years in that field. He has conducted trainings throughout the United States for law enforcement and civilians in scuba diving, police and evidence diving underwater, post blast investigation, firearms, patrol rifle, active shooter. Talk about stressful first aid CPR again, and has coached individuals in personal self discovery and self development.
(02:11):
Glen received a bachelor's degree from the university of Utah in psychology. He started his own business, Glen Williams consulting and currently trials to police departments throughout the us representing his program, bridging the gap and inside look at communications and relations to assist in reducing PTSD, divorce and suicide. Glen retired from the force in 2016 and now lives in Draper, Utah with his wife, Deborah, Glen, Deborah have six children, more stress <laugh> kids can be stressful, right spread across the us and enjoy visiting them and spoiling the go grandchildren. Glen's greatest joy is making a difference in today's world. Through speaking, teaching and writing. He also enjoys traveling, scuba diving, martial arts, long range shooting, and his dog Shiloh stress relieving, right? Who goes most places with him. So Glen, welcome to the show and I'm very much looking forward to how you can help, frankly selfishly me personally as well. I'm looking forward to this
(03:08):
Ken it's pleasure of being here. You've covered all the highlights there. You know, one of the things I discovered is as we go through things is writing things to, down to. In fact, that's actually what led to my book that I wrote which is a big part of the business now. I had no idea how much marketing was involved and I'm still learning.
(03:31):
Yeah. Well let, so let's dive into that. So, you know, we, I covered a lot of your background, but so what led you, so from, from, from the police force to the things, different things you did in law enforcement that led you into what you're doing now?
(03:47):
Well, I developed PTSD and I did everything. The normal people do that didn't work and I ended up divorced and, you know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing on over and over. So I tried it again and I ended divorced again, after that second divorce, I spent three years up at my cabin where I rediscovered, who I really am. And I had to take a real hard self accountable look. And that's where it gonna start anything, whether it's a business or developing your life, that's where you have to start. And we have to, it has to be open honest and, and self accountable. And so that's after that, I thought, well, I'm ready to retire, but I still wanna make a difference on it. So I'm not done. And one day I was sitting there and everything just started coming in. I started writing and I had talked to a council friend of mine. And when I showed her what I wrote and I didn't even remember it, cause I just wrote it. She says, there's your program right there, finish it. And you got it. And that's how my program started with another year or so of development after that. But now I, I get to still go out and make a difference. And that's my biggest thing,
(05:00):
Glen, I, I gotta tell you. So you know, the fact that not only from the background that, you know, I read in the intro, but also, you know, so many times we have people who try to help with different things, but they haven't actually lived it. Right. They went to school for it. They read a bunch of books about it. They haven't lived it. And especially, you know, I've got some folks that, you know, in my family and, and close friends that are law enforcement officers. And I know the stress that that can create in a marriage. I know the high divorce rates amongst you know, law enforcement folks and the fact that you've, you know, the, the, the school of hard knocks, right. You've been down that road twice. That just, you know, while that was a completely unfortunate situation in your life, man, that has to make so much of a difference in the difference that you're able to make for folks. Because you can say, look, I've been there, done that. You know, I understand what you're going through. I understand, oh, I bet you had this. I bet you had that. You have real life personal experience with this. Not just something you read out of a textbook.
(06:06):
Yeah. And I got lucky and got a third chance. And I, the things that I discovered about changing me gave me the opportunity. So I have a very wonderful, open, honest relationship with my wife now. And we have no secrets whatsoever, cuz that was the biggest thing that I did wrong was I quit talking. And whether it be in your relationships at home or whether it be in your relationships at work, you've gotta keep those wide open. Otherwise that just creates blockages in the relationship and that's going nowhere and that's only gonna hurt you as well as your business.
(06:43):
Well, I gotta tell you, Glen, I, I, even though what I do is nowhere even, even remotely close to as stressful as what you had, I understand that because there are times when I don't and, and it's not purposeful and I'm not trying to be secretive, but you know, there might be things as an entrepreneur, as a business owner that happened that are negative events and I'm like, I'm, I'm not, I'm gonna shield my family from that. And again, it's not that I'm trying to purposely be secretive or, or, or, you know, not being transparent, but it's like, ah, I'll handle that on my own. I'll keep that in here. And I keep it in here and I keep it in here and I don't don't share it. And then what's happened to me and again, way smaller than, than a version of it than what I'm sure you dealt with. But you know, that stuff starts to build up after a while. And then the people around you when it starts to manifest, they go, what's wrong with what's wrong with Ken? Like what what's wrong? You know? And it's because I haven't been open.
(07:36):
Exactly. And that's a, exactly how I started. I wanted to protect my family. I didn't want them to know some of the things I had seen and had had to do. And so I bottled it up and I just kept it in. They know something's going on and the mind goes to the worst place automatically. Oh, you know? And so you, your wife's going, oh, he's not talking to me. Who's he talking to, you have an affair, you know, and things like that. And that creates issues. And then you have issues at home, those issues to transfer, to work and work head backs home and it's back and forth. And then it just spirals outta control. And that's why keeping that line of communication wide open is so imperative. And that's one thing I teach in my it in my book is how to take a traumatic event, rephrase it. So it can be safely shared without blowing your spouse's mind. And that can be adapted over to some of the business cause we all do it. And especially when things getting tied into business.
(08:34):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, oh man, I, I can't wait. We're gonna hit a break here though. We're gonna come back, will give the Mr. Biz tip of the week. We'll continue talking this week with Mr. Glen Williams and you can find out more at www.glenwilliamspublicspeaker.com, and definitely go out and follow him on LinkedIn as well. We'll come back after the break and we'll continue talking with Glen on Mr. Biz radio
(09:00):
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(09:31):
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(10:01):
Check out both of Mr. Biz national bestselling books, "Pathway to Profits" and “How to be a Cashflow Pro" on Amazon. Now, once again, here's Mr. Biz.
(10:13):
All right. Welcome back to Mr. Biz radio , Mr. Biztip the week as we always do the outset of the second segment and this week's tip, gotta tell you guys I'm gonna it's it's a little bit it's a little bit in your face. Some of these tips are a little fluffy, right? This one's not okay. <Laugh> I'm gonna be, I'm gonna keep it real with you. If you don't have a budget, a budget, the, the, the infamous B word, as I always say, and you don't monitor your progress against it every single month, then you aren't serious about your business as financial success. That's just what it is. Okay. You gotta have a budget. Budget is imperatively important, critically important. And I'll just share one more thing. And I've, I've said this before on the show over the five years, plus we've been doing this show when I meet with a prospective client who needs help.
(11:00):
And I mention the infamous B word budget, and they B at having a budget, that's a deal breaker for me. If you are an owner and you wanna work with me and you don't wanna have a budget, then again, like, as I say, you, you're not serious about your financial success because a budget is so, so critically important. So that is the Mr. Biz tip of the week, this week. So if you don't have one, get one, if you don't know how to make one, I might know a guy who can help you anyway. Let's get back into talking to Mr. Glen Williams this week. So Glen man, where do we even go from here? So I guess let's talk a little bit about what you do now. So, so as you're going around and how folks you know, kind of, what does that look like?
(11:43):
Oh, it's interesting. I go to a lot of conferences and throughout the country, and then I travel to police departments and I have an eight hour presentation on, we start with self accountability, cuz that's where it all starts. If we're gonna make a change, it's gotta start with us. And then I get talking to people and I when I teach, I don't lecture, I ask questions cuz everybody has the answers. They just have forgotten them and they don't know them. And that's what I've found in law. Life is people ask questions to seek reassurance a lot. They already know what they need to do and what they should do. And sometimes it just takes a little encouragement for that come out. I mean like my, my objective, I know if we change the world one person at a time, start with myself and then that ripples out to the next person and the next person.
(12:33):
I mean, one of the first classes I taught was to group from a local police department in there. And they were pretty hardcore, you know, Mr. SWAT and all these guys. And one of the guys sat back there with his arms folded and as we're talking about relationships and he says, I don't tell my family anything about work. They don't need to know that they don't need to know what happened there. And I, I looked at him, I said, will you agree that people are creatures of habit? And he says, well, yeah. And I said, so you're not telling your family anything about 70% of your waking life and that's without working overtime. What else? Aren't she telling them? Because it only starts one brick at a time and then it grows and grows and grows. So what else is not being shared? He sat back and folded his arms and said they just don't need to know, but was interesting.
(13:23):
His Sergeant was sitting next to him and his Sergeant sat forward and started participating and he got into it. So it may not always be the person you're with or talking to. You know, I I've discovered this in, in work when I'm at conferences, I'm talking to somebody and then I'll get a call later from somebody that I didn't even know was listening. And they'll say, Hey, can you come talk to us here? And so it, it's funny how those things kind of work, but we just get to be open and honest and put it out there.
(13:53):
Yeah. And you know, you know, the example, again, mine being much, much a much smaller scale than, than what you dealt with in your law enforcement career, but you know the ups and downs of being a business owner, my, my wife's a nurse, you know, she's not a business person whatsoever. You know, our oldest is, is, is graduating with a degree in neuroscience. Like she's not a business person our, our middle old daughters going for education. And, and so it's not that I am again, trying to withhold anything or whatever, but it's like, you know, I, maybe I had a big proposal out and that, that would've been like a big, you know, a really big deal and I didn't get it and, you know, it's disappointing. And again, I, I try to not, I try to be a positive person and always, and so I'm always trying to project that positivity.
(14:44):
And so a lot of times I think that I choose not to, or I'll just say, if, you know, I'll let my wife know ahead, or maybe the girls know, and they might say, Hey, how'd that go? And I'm like, I didn't turn out too well. And I just leave it at that. And, and I think sometimes that's okay, right? At least you've shared what's going on and especially with what you deal with and, and maybe you would disagree with this, what in your law enforcement career and what with those folks deal with is, you know, I don't think I'm guessing that you're not saying you to share every gory detail of everything that happens to you in your day. Right. Because some of those things could be traumatic, especially for if you have small children and things like that. But the point is you have to share with them that there was a traumatic event in your day and how it affected you is, is that kind of what, where you're leading to Glen.
(15:28):
Yeah. you don't need to share all the go stuff. In fact, I teach people how to rephrase a traumatic event so it can be safely shared. That's one thing they never taught us. And I kind of finally figured it out. It took me about 17 years to figure it out. <Laugh> and so that's one of the big things of my class that I teach now. The stress, what I'm discovering the you know, running my own business, I do my own marketing. I do everything because I'm, I'm me and that's all I've got mm-hmm <affirmative> and I it's a whole different kind of stress, but it's still stress and it makes it so there are days I come home and I just have a pounding headache and I'm going, oh man, I, I don't wanna do this anymore, but I do cuz I still wanna make a difference.
(16:15):
Mm-Hmm <affirmative>
(16:16):
And yeah. So I'm learning, you know, I'm learning all kinds of techniques. I'm technologically challenged. So I'm learning how to do a website. I'm learning how to do multi or social media marketing. I, I mean all stuff that I never even dreamed of five years ago.
(16:32):
Yeah. Yeah. Like, look, I, I, I have 'em as well. Like I have things in the business that we all have 'em right. You, you got things you can really enjoy doing. Yeah. And so you dive right into those. And then at least for myself, the things I don't enjoy doing, what I find is I procrastinate the heck out of 'em and then it becomes a deadline and I have to like cram it in to get it done. Then I'm then it, me even more stressed about it or more irritated that I have to do it. What I, what I found though, Glen, how I relieve that stress is those things I, I delegate 'em as, as quickly. And as soon as I can, I'll find a, a, a contractor that that can help me with that. That's in their wheelhouse. That they're really good at it. So at least from a business perspective, that's how I can, at least some of that stress for me.
(17:16):
I, I agree on that. Cuz I started doing that. I, the things that would take me eight hours to do takes an expert an hour and I don't need that stress at all. And so yes, delegating and taking one, figuring out one step at a time, which step to get to each one. And if you have somebody then more power to you, if you don't then find somebody.
(17:38):
Yeah, it's funny. I had a I was on a, in a group and talking to someone and someone that was asking me and they were like, well, how do you know what things delegate? And I just right off the cuff, I told 'em, you'll probably appreciate this Glen. I said, for one week, as you go through your days, anything that you have to do that makes you roll your eyes, you should consider delegating that <laugh>
(18:00):
Yeah, absolutely. That's perfect. In fact, I'm gonna steal that. For me that's about 80% of what I do though. <Laugh> oh,
(18:08):
Great. <Laugh>
(18:10):
But yeah, cuz I'm, I'm just not a great records keeper. I'm not a great marketer. I'm a good trainer, a good teacher and I write good programs and I actually write good books and that's what I do.
(18:23):
Yeah. Well, I mean, and, and so sticking your wheelhouse, you know, I, I tell business owners this all the time is you gotta stay in your wheelhouse, do the things that you're good at because we all like doing generally speaking, you like to do things that you're good at, right? Because you're good at him. Michael Jordan likes to play basketball cause he is really good at it. He might not like to play chess cuz maybe he is not a good chess player.
(18:42):
So
(18:42):
Anyway, we're up against a break here. Lots more to talk about here with Glen Williams. Again, go find more on his website, www.glenwilliamspublicspeaker.com. And back after the break,
(18:52):
I
(18:52):
Promise we're gonna get into some techniques that Glen's gonna help us. How to de-stress
(19:01):
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(20:01):
To submit questions to the show, email them to
(20:10):
All right. Welcome back to this show. So let's, I don't want to belabor this cuz I want to get into this. I know, I know you have a lot to share on this, Glen. I, I know you had mentioned before. I think you alluded to earlier is you have you figured out a way it took you 17 years to, to, to take, you know, traumatic or stressful events and, and be able to, you know, put 'em into a way that you can share with, with family members or significant others, et cetera. Why don't we start with that? What is, what is the way we can do that?
(20:38):
That's a two hour session in my eight hour course. <Laugh>
(20:41):
Okay. So
(20:43):
Hi, real quick highlights. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> you take a self-accountable look as you go through Levi first off, write it down in every detail it's called, that's called journaling. And that actually helps your mind realize, okay. It's okay to let this stuff out. Cause if you don't talk about these things, it'll lead you alive. So you write it out, then go back and take a second. Look at it and look at it. Self accountably. What did I do for example? I have a case where I ran through a door while shots were being fired and somebody was killed in spite and I had to witness all of the, the things that occurred there. But, but what I can do is share that self accountably shots were, I drew my weapon. I yelled on my radio when I went through the door shots being fired and everybody knew where I was at. I went in, I saw the bad guy, took him down, put him in handcuffs. There's a little more to it obviously than that. And then I went and checked on the victim and unfortunately she did not make it that's pretty self accountable and there's a, there's a more into it, but for timewise, I'm cutting it real short. What did I do? I can say what I did without sharing all the garbage and that's an easy way to break that down.
(22:03):
Well, so you, as you say that, Glen, I, I mean, I, I'm not just saying this, I think that was excellent because as you were, as you were reframing it I guess I, I could picture it in my head. Yeah. And I didn't picture the blood and guts and gore of the situation. I, it was a very, the picture I got from your story was very clean, but I understood that the, the severity of the situation at the same time.
(22:30):
Yeah. And it's safe to share that way. And that's the whole point, keep that
(22:34):
Yeah, absolutely. By sharing it safely, that keeps that communication open.
(22:39):
Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I love it. So, so along those same lines, what are some, what are some techniques we can use when we are stress? When we are just absolutely overwhelmed with stress or whatever, it may be, what, whatever the event caused it, business wise, personal wise, whatever it may be, what are some things that you have learned over the years that would help us de-stress in those situations,
(23:00):
I'm gonna start in general first off exercise. If you do ride a bike run, they call it the runner's high or get in the zone. Or if you play basketball, go do something physically active because that gets those endorphins in your system going, and that gives you that feeling of self and a good feeling. Going out in nature is amazing for healing. So I love to take walks up in the mountains and go through and just see the trees and lift into the breeze, go through the Aspen leaves and things like that. And then if you have a pet, I have a dog and he goes everywhere with me and he'll come and curl up at my feet in. He is right now. And just, just the feeling of getting outside myself and looking at what I can do for him, not thinking about self but thinking about others and other things is a great way to de-stress, but then we can get into some specifics.
(24:03):
Breathing is critical and there's several. I mean, you can even just think about the other, well, the other night I couldn't sleep. I was laying there just tossing and turning and I finally went, okay, breathe. And I started concentrating on my breathing and I breathe in my in my nose, 1, 2, 3, 4, hold at 1, 2, 3, 4 out my mouth, 1, 2, 3, 4, hold at 1, 2, 3, 4. And I did that. And after about doing that four or five times, all the stuff that was in my head that was keeping me up was gone and I fell asleep. But that's actually a type of meditation. And I know officers are taught. We do that when we're going into a real stressful situation. And you can make it even a simple is concentrating on, in and out, in and out and think about your breathing. One thing that I found, I really like, and my wife actually introduced me. This is massage, go get a massage. And if you just let it go and you're not with a talkative misuse, everything just D and that's an awesome way to de-stres. And there's so many other outside the box, things like singing bowls or Tobes and bowls, the humming tone, and the vibrations just relax as you so much very similar to have being in a good massage. Those are just a whole bunch of ones that I've tried at work.
(25:30):
Yeah, I'll tell you Glen, the one I love 'em all, but I, I, I have also done the breathing. Yeah. and I, from, and I, it was from athletics for me when I was in a stressful situation and, you know, playing basketball and I'm, I'm going the free throw line with less than 10 seconds, you know, we're down one and I'm shooting two free throws it's and, and it originally it was, I called it 5, 5, 5, and I, I would, I literally inhale for five seconds inhale very slowly, right. Five seconds. I'd hold it for five and I'd release it for five. So release it very slowly. And now I do 7, 7, 7. I don't know if that's because I more lung capacity where I'm more stressed. I don't know what it is, Glen. I'm just gonna go with it though. But I've shared that with other folks too, is know, like it takes you, you know, 21 seconds, 25 seconds in total, maybe whatever. So you can't do it in five seconds or whatever, but I'll tell you, man, I don't, I, I don't know if it's because I'm so focused on the actual breathing that I, I, I go out of mind with the situation and it just helps me so much. Is, is that kind of what you think is really what's going on there? That really why it helps so much
(26:40):
Absolutely. Get out of that head and, and when you're concentrating on your breathing, you're not thinking about all the stuff that's stressing you. And, and if you do that, even just for a couple of minutes, it'll clear your head, it'll clear everything and that stress isn't gone.
(26:58):
Yeah. I'll tell you if I do that, if I do 7, 7, 7, if I do that two consecutive times with, with, you know, whatever, five or 10 seconds in between, I, I mean, it's the, the difference. If I could measure it somehow the level of cortisol in my blood or whatever, I don't know, but between before I begin and after the second one, I mean, I mean, every single time, it doesn't matter how stressed I am. You know, when my weight lifting cry, I would do it in my personal life. When I've got a stressful situation, I, we were in a car accident, no one got hurt or anything, but I was very stressed. And I, as soon as it happened before I got out, because I'll be honest with you, I was super angry. And I know that was not going to be, you know, helpful to the situation. So and it just calmed me down, put me where I needed to be in the right frame of mind, be able to handle the situation in a, in an appropriate manner without, you know, anything, you know, crazy happening or anything like that. And man, it's just, so for me personally, it's super powerful.
(27:59):
It is. And like, it can be used anywhere, anytime. And you know, know standing out in the hallway, waiting outside a door to go into an important meeting with, you know, it could be your biggest client or your CEO or whoever. When I get ready to go speak if I have, you know, a hundred people I'm walking up in front of I get a little nervous, not as bad as I used to, but I still okay. Breathe now. Okay. I'm ready to go. You know, and those are all minor things, but even you've got some stress with dealing with your accountant at work. And that's one that always stresses everybody. At least it does me then yeah. I can just call 'em down and then at least I can answer questions somewhat intelligently.
(28:46):
Yeah. Yeah. I, I love it. I love it. Like I said, I, I love all the ones you said, but that one, for whatever reason, it just really hit home for me. And I've used it. Gosh, man, I've used that for easily 20 years easily. Again, this week I've been talking with Mr. Glen Williams, who's the founder and CEO of Glen Williams consulting. You can find out more at www.glenwilliamspublicspeaker.com Glen time has flown by, of course, as it always does. I really love to have you on the show. You shared some tremendous insights. I really appreciate you being on.
(29:18):
I appreciate the opportunity and would luck everybody out there.
(29:22):
Yeah. Appreciate it, Glen. Well thanks for watching. Thanks listening guys. And as always, don't forget, cashflow is king.
(29:32):
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