How to Clear Self-Limiting Beliefs

How to Clear Self-Limiting Beliefs

Check out the latest episode below. Mr.Biz Radio provides business owners with the knowledge and insights needed to drive their companies forward.

Mr. Biz Radio: How to Clear Self-Limiting Beliefs

Unedited transcription of the show is included below:


Welcome to Mr. Biz radio, Biz. Talk for Biz owners. If you're ready to stop faking the funk and take your business onward and upward, this show is for you. And now here's Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth.


Alright, Welcome to another episode of Mr. Biz at Radio with me, Mr. Biz, Ken Wentworth. And,this week we're gonna talk about something that,it probably impacts just about everybody at some point or another, unfortunately. And,we've got a whole lot of different angles we're gonna take with this. But the primary focus of what I have this week is how to eliminate or at least sort of control better some of the self-limiting beliefs you have, limiting beliefs you have that are holding you back in your life, in your career as an entrepreneur, as a corporate person, as a nine to five, or in your personal lives, et cetera. And this week we have, as always, an absolute expert, Karolina. Lemme make sure I get this right. Is an alcohol free empowerment expert who helps intuitive women ditch alcohol and discover their greater purpose. She's worked with thousands of clients through her programs to change their drinking habit and unleash a new level of health, happiness, and potential to go after their biggest dreams. She's the bestselling author, author of the book, "Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You" and her work has been featured in the Huffington Post, the Sunday Post ,Pop Sugar, real Simple, elite Daily and multiple TV shows. Karolina's passionate about helping you discover what really makes you happy outside of a beverage and design a life you love. Karolina, welcome to Mr. Biz Radio.


Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here.


Yeah, so I know it's been a while. We've we've had to works for a while to, to get you on the show here, but I'm looking forward to it because, you know, we talk about this you know, at least not so much on the show as as often, but, you know, it's just one of those things that, you know, the the limiting beliefs that we all have in our heads, whether it be in form of imposter syndrome, things like that. But before we get into all that if you would, Karolina, tell us a little bit about your, your entrepreneurial journey.


Absolutely. So being an entrepreneur is nothing I ever imagined for myself. When I was a little kid. I actually wanted to be an author, so I imagined myself once writing books. But as I got into college and I, you know, graduated college, I got into grad school, like adulthood hit me really hard. I, I kind of had like a reality check. I basically graduated at the time of the recession and found a lot of trouble finding a job and stuff. And so instead of having these big dreams for myself, like they just got completely squashed to whatever will take me, whoever will have me, you know, I just need a clock in the hours and make it work. And at the same time, from the ages of around 17 to 30, I drink and I drink what you would call pretty normally for what other people would consider, whether, you know, going out socially and just, you know, a few times on the weekend and stuff like that.


I wouldn't call it like one of those rock bottom problems, but it was so easy to say, so stuck in my limiting beliefs because drinking made it so easy. I mean, for example, it was so much easier to open a bottle of wine than have to write the next Great American novel. And while I thought it looked really normal, you know, I was pretty healthy during the week and just drinking, when I was out socializing with friends, it completely squashed my agency and my ambition. And I really just like settled for whatever life gave me. I wasn't working on a business or a book or anything. I was just like flowing with inertia, basically like a dead fish with like, absolutely you no agency over my life. And, you know, this thing with alcohol was really bothering me. It wasn't something that I would consider, again, this like black and white problem.


Like I didn't identify as an alcoholic or anything like that, but I couldn't shake the feeling every Monday morning of feeling lethargic and groggy and exhausted from the weekend. And I also every week noticed how I was waiting for the weekend to come so I could let loose and unwind. It was like I couldn't get through the week fast enough. And I know a lot of people, maybe in a nine to five or a corporate workplace might feel the same way of just like, let's just get through this week as fast as we can to get to the enjoyment of the weekend. And so I finally took a break from alcohol for dry January in 2018, and it unlocked so many doors for me. I like found myself feeling so much more confident and amazing and rested and just my physical health was improving. And it started to really tackle some of my limiting beliefs because I never thought I could ditch alcohol and be happy.


And all of a sudden I was like, wait a minute, if I could do this, what else could I do? And so that year, within a few short months, I launched my own business. I launched a podcast. I quit my day job. I, you know, grew following and all those things that I never believed were possible for me. And so now I really share with people how changing the identity in their patterns that they have that might be limiting them or keeping them stuck. Sometimes we adopt patterns that maybe served us when we were younger, but aren't helping us grow into the version of ourselves that we're meant to be today. And drinking is obviously one of those that keeps a lot of people just kind of hanging out in their comfort zone. Whether or not it looks like a problem or not, it's just a comfort behavior that we do. And I've worked with so many clients who've literally taken a break and extended break from alcohol and their businesses exploded. The sense of creativity and intuition and bravery and courage and clarity and just these incredible energy and enthusiasm that they have just over spills all over into their business. Were into their passion project that I am now a firm believer that when you remove that, even just for an experiment, you're gonna see so many incredible results.


Yeah, I love that. And you know, I, I like how you mentioned as well is that, you know, it wasn't necessarily a problem, you weren't an alcoholic, but you know, I've got some friends, especially during the pandemic that, you know, as you you've seen the statistics, we've all seen them of how the alcohol, you know, intake increased significantly over that time. And I have one friend in particular who is a business owner, and he sort down that path and then it got a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. And then he said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna cut back. I'm gonna cut back. And then he said, I'm only gonna celebrate. I'm only gonna use it to celebrate. Well then I found out Karolina, and tell me, you probably heard this a million times with people you work with, everything was a celebration.


He would find something to celebrate, which look, celebrate the victories. I'm not saying that at all, but, and I literally, we, me and one other friend of his, we had to sit down with him and say, look man, this is about alcohol. This is not about celebrating. You're looking for reasons to celebrate things. And the things you're celebrating, frankly, are getting a little sillier and a little sillier, like things that you shouldn't even be celebrating. But we feel like you're using it as an excuse to be able to, to allow yourself to drink alcohol. And you know, and so you've probably seen that a bunch of times I would imagine. And did you experience that as well? Well,


I definitely experienced this like kind of trying to just keep up with what society, like necessitated. Like I think we live in a culture that says, yes, you do celebrate with alcohol, come to this wedding, come to this whatever, and then pop the champagne. And then we have these social obligations that all revolve around alcohol. So I think like all of us growing up in Western society have these really ingrained beliefs that alcohol meets different needs, that it meets the need, for example, for celebration, or it meets the need for belonging or acceptance when we're doing it kind of like in a social group or it meets our need for relaxation. And in a way we kind of outsource our power away from ourselves and our own agency to kind of create the feelings we wanna feel. And we rely on alcohol to do that.


And I would argue, and you can read my book for this too, that like scientifically alcohol's actually not creating the feelings that we want in any, in many cases it's changing the bi the biochemistry of the body and the brain in very negative ways that nobody would actually purposely want to, to experience and things like that. And so it's like, it's really kind of just a questioning of what needs am I using alcohol for? And are those serving me? Are those helping me achieve my bigger dreams and my bigger goals? Are those really helping me become the version of myself I want to be? And you know, I teach business as well in the sense that like, a business is never gonna outgrow the personal development of the owner, you know? And so if drinking is a comfort zone, behavior, if it's a way of staying stuck, if it's a way of playing small, that definitely, even though it might look normal to other people, it's definitely something to look at and explore as an intuitive person who wants to live an extraordinary life. You know, like there's the greatest people on the planet that don't drink. And I do credit that to their biggest success. Tony Robbins doesn't drink, Deepak Chopra doesn't drink, Gabby Bernstein doesn't drink. And so sometimes it's just a matter of asking yourself, what do I want most? You know, what do I want most over what do I want today? And it's like allowing the long-term satisfaction and contentment to rule your life instead of immediate gratification.


Yeah, I love that. I love that. So much more to unpack based on what you just said, Karolina, we're gonna hit a break here though. We'll come back after the break. Continue talking with Karolina. You can find out more at Follow on Instagram and LinkedIn.


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Alright, Welcome back to the show. It's time for Mr. Biz tip of the week. And this week is is is an original, is it Mr. Biz Original? And it's actually kind of ties into what we're talking about with Karolina this week. You often don't realize what you can do until someone tells you that you can't. Right? Sometimes that's the fire you need, that, that, that, that, that thing that gets you lights a fire under your butt. I should say that, you know, you, you want to show somebody, someone says, oh, you'll never be able to make that happen. That business will never work. Oh, just go back to getting a job. You're, it's never gonna work. It's so difficult to have a business and thrive and be successful. You'll never be able to write a book. Oh my gosh, it's so difficult. Those types of things.


A lot of times sometimes it makes people quit, right? Other times I feel like more often it really lights a fire under a lot of people and say, you know, you get that attitude of I'm gonna show them, I'm gonna show 'em. I'm gonna be successful. I'm gonna make it happen. So that is the Mr. Biz tip of the week. I did wanna mention real quick, before we get back into talking with Karolina I've got an upcoming speaking engagement. I just wanted to mention real quick, 'cause a friend of the show, John D. Hanssen, he's been on the show before. He's having a book launch. We're talking about a lot of books here, but he's having a book launch coming up on November 7th. It's gonna be a book launch. Like no other thing's gonna be crazy. I'm speaking at the event, like I mentioned.


There's gonna be all kinds of different things. It's free. You can attend virtually, you can attend in person if you're in the Columbus, Ohio area, but virtually as well, you can go to Winning Secrets info to to sign up winning Secrets info. Just wanted to give a quick plug to that 'cause, 'cause John is a friend of the show. So Karolina man, a lot of stuff you said there just really resonated with me. I guess talk to me a little bit. I know, I know, you know, I, I'm gonna wait until if we can, until the, the, the next segment to really dive into some more of the, some of your tips on, you know, clearing those self, self-limiting beliefs. But what are some ways that people, you know, you help people now, so someone reaches out to you and says, Karolina, I I think you can really help me. What does that look like for someone?


Absolutely. And so, like I said earlier, like a business is never going to outgrow their revenue. The amount of clients they serve, any of that stuff, of the level of the personal development of the owner. And, you know, doing a business takes a lot of playing big. Like Theodore Roosevelt says, we get in the arena, we get the blood tears and sweat and mar our face all over, right? It takes a lot of big action. And there's also these subconscious drivers that want to keep us playing small, that want to protect us, that want to keep us safe. So it's always this like push and pull battle between growing and achieving the life you really want versus reverting back to that stuckness. And I think for me, like alcohol to that I talk about with a lot of clients, it's not really what we're actually talking about.


It's just a symbol. It's just a vehicle in your life that you've allowed to express some of those subconscious desires to play small, right? So when people, for example, think like, well, I'm not gonna be able to have as much fun, or I'm not gonna be able to socialize without alcohol, first of all, like, you know, my, I hope my tip for everyone here on this listening to this show is taking a break from alcohol feels so amazing. It's just a gift that, you know, I, I'm happy to share with others so that you can experience it too. But when you learn that you have a self-limiting belief that I can't do something, or I can't be a version of myself unless I have this chemical in my system, that is a limiting belief. And that usually probably spills over into other limiting beliefs in your life.


You know, if, for example, alcohol also really trips us up in the sense that, like your friend, for example, he was making all these rules about it, right? And anytime he breaks a rule, anytime I told myself I'd only have one drink or I wouldn't drink tonight, I erode myself trust. And over time, that self-trust means that I'm not gonna believe that I can actually do the things I say I'm gonna do. I wanna make, you know, a hundred K or 500 K or a million K in my business. Well, how can I trust that if I can't even trust myself about this? Right? And so I think the process of clearing limiting beliefs is really seeing like what limiting and or coping behaviors have I even picked up that allow me to express these like stories that I keep repeating myself, that my ideal future or my ideal business isn't possible for me.


So for example, if I had this proposition that, hey, you can keep drinking and everything will be the same, and you'll stay in your nine to five and you'll never make it with your business and you'll just drink every weekend. Or you could become like a multimillionaire business owner and get on Oprah, like which would you choose, right? Like, I think what we want most is really easy to see, but we don't often see that we need to actually let go of things in order to have that reality. And alcohol is like one of those things that is like an obvious choice of, of ways that we're just playing small with it. But in a way it's like an identity shift too. It's like getting outta that comfort zone and meeting your needs in new ways and debunking some of those limiting beliefs. Like for example, I always thought I'm pretty introverted, but I also grew up really shy.


And so when I started drinking as a teenager, alcohol functioned as this magical elixir to turn me into an extrovert, turn me more confident, more popular. And instead of ever building that skill within myself and practicing it within, I just outsourced it to alcohol all the time. So at the end of the day, by the time I was 30 and I was still drinking, I didn't think of myself as a confident person because if there wasn't a drink in my hand, I didn't act like that. It wasn't embodied within me. And so first of all, I had to kind of change the limiting belief that alcohol made me more confident. Like, hell no, it didn't make me more confident, it embarrassed me, it gave me wine teeth, you know, like acting out of character and all those kinds of things. But it also, like ins internally told my self-conscious, Karolina, you're not good enough.


You're not interesting. You have nothing good to say, but here, have this drink and then you'll be better. Right? And that's why I think like a coping mechanism like alcohol actually really deteriorates our sense of, of self-belief in ourselves and our self-esteem. So first, in my process of work, I help clients switch their beliefs about what alcohol is doing for them so that they're not as positive. And then we help build out those positive self beliefs within themselves. And that's when everything explodes, right? And just the matter of taking a break as well will help explode your sense of creativity and tuition clarity and all those kinds of things. But for example, as a drinker, I never thought I could be an entrepreneur. You know, I always imagined entrepreneurs were people who had connections in Silicon Valley and they knew all these tech apps and stuff.


Like, I never ever saw myself as an entrepreneur and even as a writer, like I wanted to be a writer. But as a drinker, I never wrote, I never had the discipline or the like with or all to sit down and actually write. And it wasn't until I cleared that, that all of a sudden, like my real potential, my real power came back to me. And it just exploded in so many ways. And I've seen this happen over and over and over again from people with all kinds of drinking habits. So it really doesn't matter how much you drink, I think it's just a really cool experiment we can play with to see, hey, would this help me like really change my limiting beliefs? Would it help me explode my business? Would it help me achieve some of the goals I would have? And like, I think that there's an intuitive gut answer within us about that question, you know what I mean? And it's like, why wouldn't it be worth it to experiment even for just a short while to see what would happen?


Yeah, I think the excuse thing is big. You know, I, I've got another person pretty close with that's an introvert like yourself, like you'd mentioned. And her thought is, if we're gonna go anywhere, she's gonna be anywhere socially that I need to have a drink or two. Like, I gotta calm down and get very anxious. I'm not, I'm not confident, you know, otherwise she's a church mouse, she's just gonna sit in the corner and she's uncomfortable and she wants to leave. And, but if I have a couple glass of wine, then, you know, again, like you had mentioned and I, I feel like it's some of that, well, not some of it, probably a lot of it's just, you know, sort of rationalizing that behavior because then two drinks becomes three, three becomes four, et cetera. And you know, just downhill, downhill spiral from there oftentimes. Yeah.


And she's also like, in that example, in my example too, it's like we're not learning to sit with the discomfort and grow through it every single time you grow through your emotions, you gain resilience and lessons and you know better for next time. It's almost like emotionally stunting ourselves because we're not ever using life's lessons to grow through and get better at. We're always just putting the bandaid solution on top. So it's like for the personal development side, like you will learn so much about courage, about confidence, about getting outside of your comfort zone with this kind of an experiment that I think it would really, like in her example, she would probably change her life by forcing herself to do the thing that she's scared of doing.


Yeah. Well I, I love what you said earlier and actually took a note about it because I loved, you know, outsourcing, you outsourced it to alcohol. And I feel like a lot of times that, you know, I'd always said, you know, kind of people I think use alcohol as a crutch sometimes, but I love how you, everyone says that, right? I love how you said you kind of outsource your courage your confidence, et cetera to alcohol. I love that. Gotta hit another break here. Again, talking to Karolina. I won't even try her last name until the end. But Follow her on Instagram, LinkedIn and her website is


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Alright, welcome back to show. So CKarolina I wanna dive into this 'cause we've, we've only got one segment left here. A lot of stuff I want to, I want to, I'm, I'm learning so much. I was taking notes feverishly during the break. So I want to dive into a little bit of, you know, some of your tips for clearing those limiting beliefs. We talked you, you'd mentioned those and alluded to those a little bit last segment. But I guess kind of to start that discussion, how important is it in your mind, the whole, the Jim Ron aspect of things, the five people you spend the most time with have such an impact on your life, and especially with alcohol related type things I'm sure as well, but even with those limiting beliefs as well. So how, how important is that in, in this whole aspect of, of limiting those so beliefs?


Yeah, well I applaud your audience 'cause they're such ambitious people. They're dreamers who really want to see a different reality probably than there was modeled for them. And I think that that is so brave and it's so hard to do because it isn't something that's an example usually in front of us, right? Most people live what I'd call mediocre in lives and there's no judgment in that, but it's all very normal cookie cutter and you know, if you kind of wanna paint outside the lines in that it's going to be met with judgment or criticism and things like that. And so in the sense of the five people you hang out with, like if, if you don't see examples of the world of the reality or the business or the financial freedom that you want for yourself anywhere in your life, it's gonna be so hard to want to actually believe that you can achieve that.


It's a huge identity shift. And I think when it comes to something that gay Hendrix talks about a lot in the big leap, like we all have kind of an upper limit of how much success we believe we deserve in this lifetime. And it often is modeled, but why we see around us now, it's usually pretty hard to just ditch your friends and find new ones. So I'm not arguing against that. But oftentimes it's our mentors and our role models that in the like programs and communities that we join that we can start to uplevel. And once we see something normalized that was just so out of reach for us before and that's normalized as something attainable and achievable, there's something I think that switches in the subconscious mind of, well, why not me? Why couldn't I do that? Right? And so again, while we might get nostalgia or you know, laughs or whatever it is from people around us, it's also good to kind of be intentional of am I also putting myself in these growth oriented places?


And when it comes to alcohol too, like, you know, for a long time I was in groups where, you know, I wanted to write a book and for me, what I had a full-time job at that time. Now I don't obviously, and I get to travel the world and just live an incredible dream lifestyle. But at a time I had a full-time job and I needed to, to squeeze that, that and my company around the sides of that full-time job. I had to wake up early in the morning, I had to work on Saturdays, all that kind of stuff. And my friend group at that time would stay up until like 2:00 AM drinking and sleep in all day on Saturday. Right? And that was normalized. And for me, that wasn't good enough. That's fine that they're doing that. I'm not here to judge or preach or professionalize to anybody.


Sure. But like to me, I have a legacy to create in this life. I'm have one life, I'm gonna live an extraordinary life. I'm going to achieve the dreams on my heart, and then I'm gonna find new dreams and achieve those. Right? And I think to me that's super important to recognize that not everyone around you is playing with the same awareness or consciousness or even just belief system that their dreams are possible for them. And so it's like really imperative to I think find those people who will push you and challenge you to the next level. And especially like if drinking is the norm and then you think like, oh, well I couldn't stop drinking because everyone drinks around me. Well, it's not the norm in every single social circle. Like Tony Robbins and his buddies don't drink, you know, so many movers and shakers do not drink.


And so it's almost kind of expanding your mind that they're, they do exist these communities and these people who are so driven for a successful and ambitious and just dreamy lifestyle that they don't have time for the petty things that are distracting them from that. Right? And we can put alcohol probably into that bucket. So it's definitely shifting how we see things. And like what has been normalized for so long is basically like just living at that 50% potential, you know? Mm-Hmm. <Affirmative>. And if you want more for your life, then you have to kind of debunk some of those normalized beliefs, whether it's about, you know, what you do on the weekend or how hard you work, or maybe it's around alcohol, maybe it's around like all normal adults drink. Okay, well what do normal adults get then with that life? What, what befalls them? Right? Do I want normal or do I want extraordinary?


Yeah, I love that. I love that. So how much as well does this tie into sort of changing your mindset from so often? Like you had mentioned before with people living a corner of sort of a, a a a forget what the exact term you use, but a normal life, a moderate life, you know I call it check in the box, right? You, you, you get to Thursday and you're like, oh my gosh, it's almost a weekend. And I, I tell people all the time, especially that I mentor, if you can't wait until the weekend, you need a new job, you need a new career. I mean, you're life, you should not be living a life like that. But there's so many people that live like that and, and I call it checking the box. How much of that is changing your mindset around this whole idea of scarcity versus abundance?


Yeah, I think for the most part we settle. Like I said in my story, you know, I had such a reality check when I graduated college, and then alcohol made it so easy to just live in that pattern for so long and not expect better for myself. So I think if we're really wildly dreaming about what we want to have, be or do in this lifetime, you know, we really allow that to come into our vision. And then what immediately comes up that tells us that we can't have that, or that that's not for us, or that I'm not smart enough or I'm not capable enough. And usually when we dream that big, and sometimes I'll ask my clients for example, like, if you won $10 million in the lottery and money was no issue anymore, what would you do? And you can probably guess that like a huge majority of people would not do what they're doing anymore.


And if I still ask them like, but you know, you don't just wanna sit on a beach all day, you still wanna work, what would that work look like? It's a wildly different answer oftentimes from what they're doing today. And I believe we all have that power and agency to really shift our passion into our paycheck and to make abundance from that. Because truly the world rewards what we are best at and we're passionate about and that helps other people when we are just feeling apathetic or bored about our job. Like that is that's the method for scarcity, right? Yeah. And I really do believe that the world rewards so much abundance and so much wealth to people who really go after their passions. Because oftentimes people who go after their passions are also helping other people. Whether it's just their example of like, wow, that's possible.


Or literally most of the time we are actually helping people just like with the show, right? And so I think with scarcity and abundance, it's really recognizing that like there is so much out there, there's so much value. And for me, I have a belief system that money comes from my creativity and my creativity is endless. I have endless value to give the world all just hinging on my creativity. It's nothing to do with any other kind of belief systems or things like that. And so it's incredible to ha change your beliefs around abundance and scarcity. And it's really hard 'cause I think most of us grew up in a scarcity mindset. A lot of us grew up in power or low middle, you know, income classes and stuff. So it's really, really hard to change some of those limiting beliefs. But I really do think that once you change some of your deeper personal beliefs, like money's definitely the next one to, to tackle. Because again, like even if we're trying to sell something and we have negative connotations with selling or salesmanship, like it's always gonna be a battle between our subconscious mind about what we wanna create in the world.


Love it. So we've only got a little over a minute left, so this is gonna be maybe a little bit of a tough one. What is one thing, one practical thing that someone's watching the show, listening to the show that they could do today? They're listening right now and they're like, okay, let me give this a shot, Karolina, what's one thing that they could do today to like kind of start the shift?


Yeah, so I hope this isn't too big of a ask, but take a break from alcohol. You know, you have the rest of your life to drink. You drink all before this. Like take a 30 to 60 day break from alcohol and you will be so amazed at what you find out. Treat it as an experiment it's not for forever. And see if it makes a difference to your moods, to your confidence, to your feelings, and to your empowerment every single day to work on your dream business. And if you're not ready for that step yet, that's okay. I do recommend if this conversation was intriguing to you, like lean into your intuition, your intuition brought you here for a reason, maybe buy a book, you know, listen to another podcast episode, anything around that. But I mean, when you were saying earlier how so many people are living this career where they can't wait for the weekend, how tied is alcohol to that too, right? Sure. It's like this is just this unwinding. We can't wait to get through the drudgery of the week. Imagine if we could create lives where we are fulfilled on a daily basis, would alcohol even serve a purpose anymore?


Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's powerful. That is very powerful. Karolina, you can check out her website, You can follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn. Karolina, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate it.


Thank you so much. It was such a pleasure to be here.


Yeah, absolutely. Well, we're glad to have you guys. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening amazing show. We'll put everything in the show notes as well in case you missed any of that, any information. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Have a great rest of your week. And don't forget, as always, cashflow is king


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